Guess who’s back? Back again. Hello folks I am back from a brief hiatus and bringing you 2 reviews in one to make up for it. The truth is, I was fat. It was getting out of hand, and no fast food places were doing anything remotely interesting for what seemed like months. So I went on the Ketogenic Diet for a couple months. I lost about 35 lbs. and decided that’s good enough and started eating like an idiot again. It’s what I do best. I’ll go back on it again though cause I really, liked it. I ate steak 2-3 times a week. Lots of bacon and eggs, some salad with avocado, that isn’t a bad diet to be on. Speaking of fat, did you see people online fat shaming Jason Momoa??? Saying he has a Dad bod now giving him shit for it? I mean if thats a Dad bod, I have the body of your creepy uncle who always tells inappropriate jokes around the dinner table. Anyway a bunch of reviews to do so let’s get to it!
First off is the Steak Reaper Ranch Fries and Burrito from Taco Bell. It’s a burrito or fries filled with Reaper Ranch sauce, sour cream, steak, tomatoes, and nacho cheese. If you remember my review from awhile back I reviewed the Rattlesnake Steak Fries and Burrito. It was a test item here in Columbus and at the same time those were being tested Cincinnati was testing the Reaper Ranch ones. They just launched nationwide today so I had to try them. Now Reaper refers to the Carolina Reaper pepper which is the hottest pepper in the world. This obviously was going to have approximately 0 percent Reaper in it. It just wasn’t gonna happen. A lot of people do not like super spicy food and you got to appeal to the masses. But knowing this I was still extremely unimpressed with these items. They were not hot at all. Like not even a little bit. I don’t know if it was the sour cream and nacho cheese that was taking away the heat or what, but it was very underwhelming. A big bummer for sure. The beer I would pair with this item is Old Milwaukee Special Reserve Ice. Because that beer also sucks.
I give the Steak Reaper Ranch Fries and Burrito 2 beers out of 5.
Second item on the docket I was super super super excited for. I’ve been waiting months for it to finally come out. And surprisingly it came from KFC. I couldn’t tell you the last time I went to KFC. I am of course talking about the Cheetos Chicken Sandwich. It launched nationwide July 1st and you better believe I was in the drive thru the second the store opened. It is just a Crispy Colonel Sandwich smothered in Cheetos sauce and a layer of Cheetos. SIGN. ME. UP! You can tell by the picture that they do not go heavy on the cheeto sauce. It looks like it’s barely on there. But that’s a good thing. Because although it was an awesome sauce that tastes just like liquefied Cheetos, it was pretty strong. A little went a long way. The actual Cheetos themselves were disappointing. They were soggy like I was expecting them to be, but they were stale. Which is insane to me because I was there the second they opened. They had the crunch that brought me back to my childhood when I would put chips on all my sandwiches (I still do that not gonna lie) but the staleness of it was a bit of a turn off. Overall it was way better than I thought it was going to be. Like surprisingly better. And I had sky high expectations. The beer I would pair with the sandwich would be just a good old regular Budweiser. American to its core just like Cheetos and fried chicken.
I give the Cheetos Chicken Sandwich 3.5 beers out of 5. (Loses points for stale Cheetos).