Beefy Crunch Burrito
America is divided. People are fighting with each other about socks every day. Social media has turned into a ever growing cancer with no signs of slowing down. Gone are the days of going online and just looking at funny cat videos or people getting hit in the balls. But do not worry friends, because it takes only one cause to united the people. And Taco Bell is here to save us.
The Beefy Crunch Movement started many years ago. The burrito was launched in 2009 and over the past 8 years its had more of an on again off again relationship with its fans than Scott Disick and Kourtney Kardashian. Taco Bell knew we needed them now more than ever so they brought it back. And its here to stay! For 5 weeks. What are other fast food places doing during this tumultuous time?? Wendy’s is sitting in their board room high fiving each other because they threw some green colored "queso" on top of 7 french fries and called it Southwestern. And Southwestern is code for "you are about to Jackson Pollock the back of your toilet bowl in 20-30 minutes". And just like the South West its going to be uncomfortably hot. Long John Silvers is sitting around wondering how the fuck they are still in business. And Arby’s is pouring all their money into nerd related Facebook ads. The hero we need but we don’t deserve is Taco Bell and will always be Taco Bell. They give us a taste of some really great items then take it away. But damn it do I get excited every time they bring them back. I'm still waiting for the return of Lava Sauce. I may honestly ugly cry when I read that announcement. Two paragraphs of stupid ranting a new record! Onto the review!
The Beefy Crunch Burrito ingredients are simple yet elegant. Seasoned Beef, Nacho Cheese Sauce, Sour Cream, Seasoned Rice, and Flaming Hot Frito’s. You couldn’t paint a better picture of a perfect burrito. Bob Ross would be proud. Its filling, its crunchy, its spicy, its gooey, it ticks every box you want. That is why there are entire website is dedicated to this burrito. Its legendary and its fans are rabid. Petitions with thousands of signatures are signed every year begging Taco Bell to bring it back. And they do. Just not long enough. Last year it was available for one day in 33 cities around the country. This year its here for 5 weeks. And they surprised their audiences with it. It wasn’t part of the E9 experience. We only found out about it about 3 weeks ago when they snuck it in (that’s what she said). Those sly, sly dogs. But I’m super happy its back even just for a limited time. It makes me look forward to the next time it comes back.
The beer I would pair with the Beefy Crunch Burrito is Not Your Grandfathers Mountain Ale. Because that’s the closest thing you will get to a beer being a Mountain Dew Baja Blast. Speaking of, the burrito and a medium Baja Blast are only 2 dollars! You read that correctly 2 dollars. Makes McDonald’s 10 dollar burger from yesterdays review seem pretty dumb doesn’t it?
I give the Beefy Crunch Burrito 4.9 beers out of 5