"The most Arby’s sandwich Arby’s has ever made". Never before has a company's tagline been more accurate and unfortunate. I should not have been surprised, it is Arby’s after-all. Not really known for their quality control. Or cleanliness. I mean have you ever walked into an Arby’s and thought, "man I could almost eat off the floors here!" But that’s why drive-thrus exist, for those of us with strict "don’t ask, don’t tell" policies. I don’t want to see the inside of the’place I'm about to order a half pound sandwich from. I know it will not be good. So that is what I did. I hopped in the car and drove to Arby’s to try their new Arbynator sandwich. I was the only car there (not really surprising for 10:30 am on a Monday) but my food was made suspiciously fast. I am not even exaggerating. I handed them my card and they handed me my food before he swiped it. Not a great sign, but maybe they are just super efficient? I ignored the alarm bells and headed home still pretty excited for this sandwich.
The pictures online looked amazing. A sandwich with fries and cheese sauce on it. Finally somebody out there gets ME. But I was so, so very wrong. I opened up my sandwich box and I just started laughing hysterically . I immediately thought this must be what online dating is like for women. You see a beautiful profile pic, you get excited and nervous. Make plans to meet up for a date and the guy shows up with his gut busting through the top of his jeans. He starts talking and licking his lips an uncomfortable amount. Ugh, the worst amirite ladies. Now I’m not the slimmest man in the world, but I am married so I’m allowed to give up. This sandwich though was beyond giving up. They didn’t even try to fit the meat in the buns. There was like 4 french fries on it, and little to no cheese sauce. At first I couldn’t tell what was meat and what was the paper the sandwich was wrapped in. I still laugh every-time I look at the picture. I think you can see where this review is headed so enough chit chat and on to the review!
First I'll let Arby’s describe what the sandwich is, or at least what its supposed to be. "The Arbynator is horse meat, cheese sauce, horsey sauce, Arby’s sauce, and curly fries all in the same sandwich. Did I say horse meat? I meant Roast Beef." That is a direct quote from their own website. No need to look it up, just trust me. It comes in Classic, Double, and Half Pound. Obviously I got the half pound one because I am wearing my big boy pajama pants today. The sandwich was a giant mess. It was weirdly wet. Like the bottom bun was completely soggy from god knows what. There was roast beef spilling out everywhere. Hardly any fries and the cheese sauce looked like it was dolloped. But the rare bite I got where there was actually both sauces, beef, and fries was actually pretty good. Not good enough to warrant a good review though. They say a picture says a thousand words and this picture screams hot mess express. Maybe I just went to a bad Arby’s and the sandwich can look like it does in the marketing ads. If you go out and try it, tag me in your photo on facebook or Instagram @bernappetit or @3beersandamic. And if your picture looks just as bad as mine did, you should definitely tag me on social media because I would love to see it.
The beer I would pair with the Arbynator is Miller High Life because it sucks just as much as the sandwich.
I give Arby’s Arbynator sandwich 1.5 beers out of 5